I felt like life was sapped right out of me today. I stayed in bed waaaay too much and couldn't get any gumption to get going. I thought some more about the talk I have to give Easter Sunday and read some and slept. It was so hard to get going. I took a shower and that got me moving a little more and then I babysat for Cait and Joel. We made bird nests. They actually turned out pretty cute. Other than that, I watched TV and made dinner for everyone. The house is a disaster and the dishes are piled everywhere. I did loads of laundry but just let them accumulate on the chair. I hate it when the house is horrible and my room is horrible and there just isn't a peaceful place to go around here. Sometimes it feels like no one cares about my stuff and taking care of it (even though I know they really do, we just have different ways of handling the mess and a different time line-I'm a find one to talk, look at my room). The toys I have for the kids are strewn everywhere. I look around and just feel chaos but it is all overwhelming to me right now and I know that once I clean them up, it will all start all over again.
I'm depressed and discouraged and want to run away from home. Maybe that is why I overate today. And maybe that is why I slept so much. I don't want to open my eyes and see the mess, my life.
I don't think I can keep it up. There are too many other people in this house. I need to devote an entire day or two just to get it back together again and I have so many other things that I have to do. Yikes!
Yep, I'm depressed. Now how in the world am I going to overcome this??????
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